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Wedding Gift Etiquette and Hints
How much money should I spend on a wedding gift?
Emily Post's rules of etiquette says there is no steadfast guide, nor do many places list a spending budget. Some considering factors include your relationship with the bride and groom, your own financial status, and if the gift represents your entire family or just you. A good rule of thumb, however, is that your gift should be representative of what you might spend on an extra-special birthday or Christmas present for that particular person. For a casual friend or distant relative, this might equal $50 to $100, while for a sibling, child or grandchild, the figure could be much larger.
If you cannot afford a $50 wedding gift, don't despair! Visit our budget wedding gift section to shop for appropriate wedding gifts that won't break your wallet.
What is an appropriate wedding gift?
Traditionally, housewares were considered appropriate wedding gifts, as many couples registered for items like dinnerware, flatware, linens, appliances, and other items to set up their new house together. However, since many couples now live alone or together before marriage, more and more gifts are considered acceptable as wedding gifts. Personalized commemorative gifts are often given to mark the occasion. Other unique gifts include spa sessions, gourmet food, gift baskets, and even vacation getaways. Browse our site for more suggestions.
Note: Resist the urge to purchase gag gifts as a wedding gift. They are best given at a bridal shower or bachelor / bachelorette party.
When do I give my wedding gift?
Etiquette books seem to argue that you have sometime between up to three months and one year after the wedding to present the gift.
This idea of having a year to present the wedding gift is largely based on a 19th century tradition in Europe of basically traveling to visit all of the family after the honeymoon, so it could take up to a year to see the newly married couple. Since we are no longer relying on boats and horses to transport the couple, the gift should be given as soon as possible, sometime between the wedding announcements, and up to three months after the wedding. Keep in mind that proper etiquette does state that if, for some reason the couple should break off the engagement, all gifts are to be returned.
Where do I send the wedding gift or should I bring it to the wedding?
Wedding gifts are one detail that the bride and groom would most likely prefer not to deal with at the ceremony. However, in some traditions and less formal receptions, it is common to place all the gifts on a table and even unwrap the presents at the reception, so it does depend on the type of wedding you are attending. In either case, however, the best advice is to send the gift on to the bride or groom ahead of time. If you are shopping from a registry, there is often a shipping address associated with the account. However, many people are uncomfortable shipping their gift directly to the bride or groom from the manufacturer. In such cases, you may want to consider hand delivering it, or sending it to address where the RSVP was sent. If you are unsure of the correct mailing address and don't wish to bother the bride, contact her maid of honor or the mother of the bride or groom to confirm a valid mailing address.